Laura Zam: Healing Sought (Bring Your Own Magic)

My wife, Laura Zam, just got published in the Modern Love Column of the New York Times.  Here’s the link.

Healing Sought (Bring Your Own Magic)

Since I met her in 2006, she’s written and performed in five one person plays in which she plays from 5 to 29 characters.  A constant theme has been healing from childhood sexual abuse by an elderly neighbor.  She has taught me that the repercussions can last a lifetime and one is in a constant state of healing.

Given than one in four American women report having been victims of sexual abuse, that means you who are reading this either were, or know someone who was, the victim of a sexual predator.  The statistics for boys and men is also alarming.  Women and children do not “ask for this,” do not “deserve this,” were not “just asking for it,” they did not “provoke it.”  It is a male power thing that men justify by invoking biology, religion, culture or what not.  There is no excuse for using another human being as an object.

Laura has dedicated her professional and artistic life to talking about these issues.  She has conducted workshops with women in rape crisis center to use story telling as a way of changing the narrative of their life story.  At first, I am ashamed to admit, it made me uncomfortable, because I had internalized the societal mindset that says such things are not talked about in pleasant company.  This is a silencing strategy that perpetrates and enables the abuse.  Laura’s work may be healing herself, but I’m grateful that it’s also been healing me, too.

So today, I’ve chosen Bach’s Prelude in C from his Well Tempered Clavier, which is one of Laura’s favorite piece.





About kurtnemes
Writer and Education Professional. Specialties include Ethics, Personal Memoir, Classical music, Tai Chi, Stress Reduction, Meditation, Coping, Classical Music, Aging, Love, Joy, Compassion and Equanimity (& what interests me.)

5 Responses to Laura Zam: Healing Sought (Bring Your Own Magic)

  1. kvennarad says:

    Firstly, what a wonderful thing Laura wrote about you. Okay, about herself, but ultimately about you. I figured you were a good guy.

    Secondly, that is just about the most perfect piece of music ever written.

    Funnily enough I also adore Jacques Loussier’s jazz interpretation. There’s a wonderful YouTube clip of him playing it on BBC TV in 1966, but they cut it off short, so here’s one of many studio versions.


    • kurtnemes says:

      Thanks very much. I just played it for her and she loved it. We’re big Miles Davis fans, and the 60s were a great time when there was a lot of exploration by Jazz musicians with classical music. Take care.


  2. leelotchka44 says:

    Kurt, when I read this today I felt a strong urge to share something with your wife. Not experiences – but info. I can’t see any “contact” form on your site – but could be so kind to go to my site and contact me? It feels like this meeting was set up in our mind, and now it is here:)


  3. leelotchka44 says:

    Hm I tried to put up a contact form on my site but it comes up with MY info…please write me at this adress
    leelah.saachi @ gmail. com


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