Check out this interview in which I discuss my pancreatic cancer journey

Check out my interview in which I discuss how I dealt with pancreatic cancer on the @projectpurple podcast! You can watch on Youtube or you can download from your favorite podcast platform: Youtube

After 29 years working at an international organization, I retired and was looking forward to travel and quality time with my wife, Laura, and adult daughters. Then I started having stomach problems and after a year of pestering my doctor about tests, he ordered a CT scan which reveals a mass in the tail of my pancreas.   A biopsy showed it was cancer.

Fortunately, I lived an hour away from Johns Hopkins University Hospital, which is a high-volume center, and I was scheduled for surgery to be followed by 6 months of chemo therapy.

Because of a life-long interest in health, fitness, eastern medicine, and homeopathy, I knew there were Eastern therapies that, though not scientifically studied in the US, are widely accepted and practiced, for example in Chinese medicine.  So I decided to approach the cancer with a strategy to:

• Get cancer treatment from western doctors
• Seek out and employ therapies that take more holistic or integrative care approach

It’s almost four years later and I’m still here. The last CT scan showed the cancer has not returned.  However, because of the 5 year average return rate of 90%, I still use many of the tools. 

Today, I’ve chosen an exquisitely beautiful choral piece by Thomas Tallis, Miserere Nostri.

According to sheet music I can find online, the text is “Miserere nostri, Domine” which translates as “Have mercy on us Lord.” Supposedly, this text comes from a Psalm 123: “3 Have mercy upon us, O LORD, have mercy upon us: for we are exceedingly filled with contempt. 4 Our soul is exceedingly filled with the scorning of those that are at ease, and with the contempt of the proud.”

I’m not a fan of self-loathing, but verse 4 seems to be a plea for solace when in the midst of adversity. I think we could all use a little solace from time time to.

There’s a ton of recordings of this piece on Youtube, and I’m choosing one by The Tallis Scholars. I think it dates from around 2004. The soprano voice will pierce your soul.

Here’s AllMusic description of this piece.

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Thomas Tallis: Tallis – Spem in alium

Spem in Alium first burst into my brain some 30 years ago. Someone in Britain made a depressing short film about a middle aged man, whose wife dies and sad to be alone, decides to commit suicide.  He checks into a hotel intending to down some booze and pills.  He’s interrupted by a beautiful blonde woman who is also depressed and is going to commit suicide.  The man tells the woman she must live, that life is too precious, and convinces her not to kill herself.  That does the trick.  Happy with himself that he did this life affirming act, he goes back into the room and drinks the liquor and pops the tablets.  The camera pulls away showing him lying there, a serene look on his face, with Spem in Alium playing welling up.

Even though as a young man discovering new works of classical music, I used to have elaborate fantasies of running through fields or meeting some beautiful woman, these days I cringe whenever I see someone’s attempt to paint a visual picture of a work of music.  Stravinsky hated this as well, but that’s because Walt Disney used The Rites of Spring in Fantasia and did not pay the composer any royalties.

When I hear Spem in Alium, the movie still flashes briefly before my mind’s eye, but I quick dispel it picturing instead a choir of singers.

I once heard a vapid classical music host on a Washington, DC, radio station describe Spem in Alium as “a big, big piece of work.”  I wonder if he loves Wagner’s operas for the same reason.

It is an eight-voice motet, which is often performed by 5 sets of 8 voices making up a choir of 40 voices. It was reportedly composed for the first birthday of Queen Elizabeth the First, but according to Wikipedia, there’s a letter from 1611 that describes its composition:

“In Queen Elizabeth’s time yeere was a songe sen[t] into England of 30 parts (whence the Italians obteyned ye name to be called ye Apices of the world) wch beeinge songe mad[e] a heavenly Harmony. The Duke of — bearinge a great love to Musicke asked whether none of our Englishmen could sett as good a songe, and Tallice beinge very skilfull was felt to try whether he would undertake ye matter, wch he did and made one of 40 partes wch was songe in the longe gallery at Arundell house, wch so farre surpassed ye other that the Duke, hearinge yt songe, tooke his chayne of Gold from his necke & putt yt about Tallice his necke and gave yt him.”

While searching for some recordings of it to share with you, I see that Spem was used for the soundtrack to “50 Shades of Gray,” a film about Bondage.  Some people just can’t leave well enough alone.

Below are some different recordings including a non-choral one by the Kronos Quartet.  I’d be interested in hearing which you like the best.

Harry Christophers

 

Tallis Scholars

 

Taverner Choir: Alan Wilson, Taverner Choir, Andrew Parrott, Bud Owens, Paul Nicholson

 

Kronos Quartet